In exactly one week, we will be leaving for Ohio. We settled on this yesterday and now it’s all a matter of getting the moving process going. It’s pretty much our move to the US last October on repeat. No jobs. No place of our own. No certainty that things will work out and we will get jobs and our own place.
I sent in a couple extra applications for myself, one PT and one FT. The FT job isn’t something I want and not sure I’m qualified to do, but I can always take a stab at it. There are a couple more jobs here I have listed that I’ll put in apps for today.
My husband is being resistant about what jobs he’s willing to take. It’s the same old song and dance. While I get what he’s saying, I’m just not seeing a lot being listed for what interests him and he balks hard at taking a substitute position which might be the only way for him to get in to the school system.
If he continues this and I get a job, him content to wait until the absolute perfect job comes along, I’d ask for a divorce. It’s been on my mind since around the time our son was born. The marriage never returned to what it was and he’s been so, so critical, sometimes harsh, sometimes explosive in his anger, and it’s more important to him to have a job that suits him to a T, rather than do what it takes to support his family.
The entire time we lived in Korea I supported him. Even before the baby was born, he didn’t work. There were always excuses. When the baby was born, it was so much worse because he would use it against me in a fight.
“You aren’t around during the day. That makes you a bad mother.”
How much harder it was for him to stay home (and for his mom to come over and help him, leaving the moment I returned from work)….
I’m tired of him. He does the least expected of him and sometimes not even that much. He keeps saying, “if we fail here, we’ll go back to Korea,” and that’s horrific, not even worth considering. I told him if that happens, he’ll happily go back to not working at all. What a great life for him.
It’s like he’s never been expected to do things that make him uncomfortable or that challenge him.
I’m terrified that we’re going to fail a 2nd time. Three times a charm? It has to be two times a charm or there’s the real possibility we’ll have to leave this country again. No. No. No.
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